by J. Jewell

Created on: March 17, 2008

It is widely debated whether or not parents should allow their babies to cry themselves to sleep. As a parent expecting my fifth child in June, I can assure you I have been on both sides of this debate in the past. Like any other parenting decision, this is not one that is simply "black and white", "yes or no". Age of the baby should always be a factor, as should the reason why your baby is crying. There truly is a proper way to deal with any situation as a parent. Allowing your baby to cry until he/she falls asleep is certainly an option, in most instances. Other times, this method is not the best choice to make.

-At what age?-

From the moment you bring your baby home from the hospital until they are around 3 months old, their time is spent on limited things. Sleeping, eating and going through unbelievable amounts of diapers are among the top things your baby will be doing. However, one of the most important things your newborn is doing on a constant basis is learning about trust. They realize very early on that they are loved and that someone's sole purpose is to nurture them and care for them. One of the ways they learn this is through the fact that their cries are responded to. It is at this point that a parent should always be willing to respond to their baby when they cry or fuss. This includes when the baby has been put down to sleep. There is a vital relationship being built between parent and child. A parents unwillingness to respond will only damage or slow that trust.

-It's that time!-

When a child has reached the age of 4-5 months, it is very clear to them who their primary caregiver is. They know that they are loved and that they will be taken care of. This is the point where a parents decision could impact the next several months or even years. My daughter is 3 years old. In the past 6 months she has finally started sleeping through the night. Huge changes had to be made in order for this to happen. Things were very chaotic and emotional while these changes were being made, not to mention the fact that several hours of sleep were lost in the process. The reason that, at 3 1/2 years old, my daughter had to go through this was a very simple one. We made the wrong decision years ago, and were now paying the price.

To get a child to the glorious point where they are able to fall asleep on their own, the following steps should be taken. It is not easy. Rest assured that making this transition is much harder on the parent(s) than it is on the child!

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