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If you have an older male cat, one who is known to be pretty territorial, how do you get him to accept another cat into the household?

Let me tell you about our cats. We have an older cat, a 12 year old male, who has never lived with (maybe not even seen) another cat before. He was getting lonely and depressed after we moved, so we knew it was time to get him a friend in his life.

We adopted a very young female kitten. We had to make sure that she wasn't timid - so we looked for the most rambunctious kitten we could find. It was a difficult search, because you don't want a violent kitten, just someone who is playful. (We knew she was the right one when she batted at my hand, but didn't grab on and bite.)

When we brought her home, we kept her in the carrier for several minutes. We set her down on the floor and went to our older cat, with the smell of the kitten still on our hands, and pet him for a while and let him investigate the scent. Eventually, he traced it to the carrier and sniffed it out. Hissing ensued!

Older kitty ran down to the basement, but we didn't drag him out. We knew he would come up eventually, for food if nothing else. Meanwhile, we took kitten out of the carrier, fed her milk, held her in a blanket, and played with her with some new toys we had gotten specifically for her.

A couple of hours later, older kitty came up and ate, and stalked around the house. Kitten was napping by this time, so I went to older kitty and petted him again, and wrapped him up in the same blanket we had used with the kitten. He was getting used to the smell of her. We gave him some of his favorite treats and a little bit of milk, which calmed him down. It's important to assure your older cat that you still love him! You have to pay attention to him, play with him, pet him too - you can't have all your attention on the kitten.

Once he was comfortable with staying upstairs with her, we made a big show of taking care of the new kitten. We were eyedropper-feeding her (she was very young - her mother was killed) and we showed older kitty how helpless the little girl was. One of us would pet and feed the kitten while the other would play with older kitty. Eventually, older kitty came over and sniffed the kitten, who discovered that she had a big brother to play with!

This is where the rambunctious, fearless kitten aspect comes in. He hissed at her, but she was undeterred. She didn't run away and hide, but she just backed off and tried again later. She never gave up on him, and now they run around after each other and play, and he even occasionally lets her sleep on top of him.

So, the major points to take from this account to incorporate into your own experience:
1. Assure your older cat that you still love him.
2. Try to find a good match in personality for the new kitten.
3. Don't pressure the older cat to accept the new one.
4. Show your older cat that you love the kitten. If he loves you, he'll realize that the kitten is something you love too, and eventually he'll make the appropriate connection.
5. Encourage them to play together once they're comfortable. Keep an eye on your older cat to make sure he's not being too rough with the young one, because he might not know how much is too much. Never yell at him for playing with her, though - only tap his nose or something similar when he gets too rough and makes the kitten cry.

Best of luck to you and your kitties!

Learn more about this author, Lauren Collister.
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