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Grandma has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. The doctor said she's in stage four of the disease, which means she already has a fair amount of brain damage. It is starting to get frustrating talking to her. What should I do?

If you find yourself in the above situation, the following are some suggestions on how to talk to a family member who has this illness.

1. When trying to change unwanted behavior, positive suggestions are better than negative reactions. Since the brain is damaged, she won't necessarily respond or adjust if you just tell her no. She is more likely to make a change if you reinforce the positives and guide her rather than scold her. Using calm, soothing tones is very important to successful communication with a person who has this illness. Harsh tones are likely to agitate her and can end up making a tense and difficult situation worse.

2. When giving her directions, keep them as simple as possible. Directions need to be short, simple and specific. It's better to break up a task, like getting dressed, into smaller steps. Tell her to put her socks on and then wait for her to do it. Once that's done, tell her to put on her pants. Since memory problems are a big part of Alzheimer's, she is more likely to forget longer directions before she completes the task.

3. When talking to her, make sure that you still treat her like an adult. She may seem more and more childlike as the disease progresses but don't treat her like a child. That can still be very upsetting and potentially humiliating for her.

4. You've probably already found yourself answering the same question ten or twenty times in one sitting. Alzheimer's patients ask the same questions over again for a few reasons. She may have forgotten that she asked it. She might need reassurance from you. Your answer may not have made sense to her and she's looking for clarification. Whatever the reason remember to be patient and don't lose your temper with her. If the repetitive questioning is getting frustrating for you then try to get her mind onto something else.

5. Patience and understanding are important to good communication with an Alzheimer's patient. They have a hard time concentrating and are more likely to lose a train of thought. Try not to interrupt her or rush her. It will probably be easier for her to concentrate on a conversation if there aren't a lot of distractions. Talking at home will be more successful than trying to talk at a busy restaurant or even at the park.

For more information on Alzheimer's and how to care for someone with this illness visit http://healthresources.caremar k.com/topic/alzcomm

Learn more about this author, Veronica Beaudry.
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