by Tiffany R. Tripp

Created on: March 16, 2008   Last Updated: December 13, 2011

We know as parents that it's important to talk to our children about sex and drugs. The struggle is in the actual task at hand. I believe the most important thing to remember is to be honest with them.

For example, when my daughter, at age 3, asked where babies came from, I told her, "Men have sperm and women have eggs. When the sperm meets the egg, it creates a baby." To which, of course she asked how the sperm and egg meets. I told her, "A man and woman have sex." "What's sex?" "We'll talk about that when you're older."

So my child knew from the very beginning and in a very age-appropriate way, the truth about where babies come from.

The actual sex talk didn't come for another seven years. But because I'd been open and honest from the very beginning, it made it easier to talk about later.

I figured 10 was a good age to sit down with her, as the women in our family start puberty pretty young. We started with the basics of her body - what was what, what did what - from growing new hair to menstruation. I did a little research first and had a file on the computer loaded with pictures and diagrams of what the inside of her body looked like. We spent the better part of an hour talking about this. Her asking questions, me answering and vice versa.

The next night we went through the same thing, except with boys. I felt it was important that she understood boys go through puberty in a different way than girls. We didn't spend as much time on this because, "God mom, that's gross!" But she probably has a better understanding of what boys her age are going through than they do.

By the time she started her actual period a year later, she knew exactly what was going on in her body and why. That's when we had the talk about the actual act of sex. We talked about the slang terms, the pain of the first time, how it feels good, STDs, birth control, and the fact that sex can kill you.

We did the same thing with drugs. I was honest with her about the drugs I had tried as a teenager and young adult. I was honest that it is fun at first. I did the same type of research on this and showed her pictures of what it does to your body even when it's fun.

We still talk often about these things now that she is 13. It's important to have an ongoing dialogue, especially now that she's getting to the age when she will start to experiment or start thinking about it. I believe she's so open with me still because I was so open with her.

Each child is different, and when and what you tell each child will be different. I believe the best thing is to be honest, because your kids will learn about these things anyway - better they learn the truth from you first.

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