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Fear can be seen as a disease of the mind, one in which each of us can control or rid ourselves of very easily to a certain degree once we know how but when fear strikes our hearts, it can control us and put a stop to our lives, but only if we allow it to - fear is anxiety caused by the presence of danger.

Certain dangers in life we fear 'only' because they are new to us and therefore we don't have the needed skills to combat against the fear caused by these dangers we face but whenever we face a previous danger a second time, it doesn't seem as daunting because we remember our last encounter with it and so, we are better prepared, however, fear comes in many different disguises, fear of heights, fear of reaching out to others, fear of your own voice, fear of love, fear of letting go, fear is in everything we face in life and as long as there are new experiences for us to share in, there will always be fear and fear, as we all very well know, can only ever be beaten with courage - the ability to face and overcome fear.

When going through a break-up in a relationship for instance, as things come to an end, if you are still attached to the person who wants different things then you will begin to feel very vulnerable and start to develop very strong feelings of dependency because for so long you have been fused as part of someone's life and when that is taken away, anger and resentment kick in. You sense that change' is around the corner and that by accepting that change, you have to face up to what is happening and that is a hard thing to do because facing up to change is letting go' and saying goodbye and let's face it, no-one likes to say goodbye.

Being abandoned' sometimes turns these feelings of anger and resentment inward as feelings of worthlessness and blame and by doing so, you will constantly blame yourself for everything that happened in the relationship but it isn't anyone's fault, a sad part of life is that these things just happen, sometimes people just grow apart. Letting go of anything that holds worth in your eyes IS without a doubt a hard thing to do, while many blame themselves, many will turn their anger and resentment outward and blame others for their pain during their fight but really, it's the fear of knowing that things are about to change that makes us all want to hold on to what we know and to what we are used to. We are creatures of habit and scared of the unknown but unfortunately in this world, change is the only thing that is certain.

Having the courage to embrace change of any kind is the only way to get through the fear of letting go. When the time comes for someone or something to leave your life, the decision has already been made, it's going to happen whether you like it or not and regardless of blame, your still going to have to face up to it. Getting over the initial shock is the first step. Accepting and facing the fear of change is the next. Conquering your fear is the final step and with that, you have undergone and learned an experience, the real reason we are all here. When we think that we can't ever live without a certain something we've gotten used to' over a certain period of time in our lives, we are wrong for we have time and time heals all wounds.

Learn more about this author, Mark Downie.
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