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it all and is willing to spill the beans on camera and in print. Unfortunately, he has no physical or documentary evidence of this and no one in the US military will vouch for the credibility of his story. He may be telling the truth. He may be lying. He may be telling what he sincerely believes to be the truth even though he happens to have developed a chronic case of paranoid schizophrenia in the intervening years. We have no way of knowing. Which is why this kind of story is bad evidence.

SPECULATIVE THEORIES. UFOs are time travelers, and here's how they could manage that. Wait, no, UFOs are from a parallel universe, and here's how they get into ours. Wait, wait, no, no,UFOs are from a distant galaxy not visible even with our most powerful telescopes, and they get here by folding the space-time continuum over on top of itself and taking a sort of quantum short cut. All of these ideas are very fascinating and fun to read. Unfortunately, none of them constitute evidence.

THE ABSENCE OF PROOF IS NOT PROOF OF ABSENCE. Technically this is true. Just because we can't prove UFOs exist, that doesn't mean they don't. The same statement applies to fairies, ghosts, supreme deities of all kinds no matter how benevolent, centaurs, and Democrats for George Bush. We can choose to believe what we want, and that doesn't make us bad or crazy. We may believe in all the best things and ultimately be right. It's just that belief is not evidence either.

What would constitute good evidence? Despite the curmudgeonly tone of this article, I would LOVE to see some good evidence for the existence of UFOs and/or alien beings from outer space. The topic fascinates me, in all its aspects. It's just that the evidence for both is terrible. I would love to see the following:

A RECOVERED UFO OR PIECE OF A UFO. An actual physical artifact that could be studied and shown to be not of Earthly manufacture, and yet clearly created by some kind of intelligence, would stun the scientific community and make me really happy. In over 50 years, we have nada, zip, nothing of this nature. Every once in awhile an abductee comes forward with an "implant" that could be a piece of glass or hardened booger, we can't really tell. I'd like to see something more convincing than that.

HABEUS CORPUS. Do you have an alien body? Then let's see it, bring it on out. Even an alien fingernail, a collection of alien cells, an alien virus, and alien hat, anything would be most helpful. When human beings commit murder, forensic

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