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Are parents the ones who are responsible when their adult children make the wrong choices in life? As a second generation Christian, i have heard all the statistics on how hard it is to keep third generation children in church and following the Lord. I have lived the experience of having children who did not want to continue in a Christian way of life. Our churches are full of people who would quickly assign all blame to the parent and say that they were not a good enough example to their children. Many, many times,I have heard other people criticize me and other parents for the lifestyle choices our children have made. I have suffered extreme guilt and wondered what exactly I did wrong to allow my children to have some of the problems they have struggled with. It literally took two years of counseling for me to overcome those feelings and accept the fact that I did the best I could and my children have made the choices for their own life and beliefs. I have come to realize that I am human, and did some things wrong and some things I did absolutely right. I took my children to church, I lived a Christian lifestyle in front of them and taught them the Word of God from childhood. I am sure that I have failings, but I am now also sure that I did the best job I could.

The Bible is very clear that we all reach an age where we are accountable for our own actions. I have observed over a period of time that,overall,we are not willing to take responsibility for our actions. This is shown again and again in our political person;s actions. Someone else is always to blame. This mind-set needs to change. We are responsible for the choices we make as adults. God has given all of us the ability to make these decisions and to choose the right way.

There are some things we as parents do have as responsibility to our adult children. We have the requirement to pray for them daily. My older son, approximately ten years ago, following a rebellious time in his life, told me that while he believed what hen had been taught, he would never again go to church nor make his children attend. It was extremely difficult, but I forced myself not to re-act in anger. I simply said okay and prayed over and over again over a period of more than five years that he would change his attitude. He has totally and completely come back to the Lord, and we talk daily. In fact, he now gets after me if I miss too much church attendance. Praise the Lord! This also gives me reason to hope that other family members will come back to the Lord.

Finally,my conclusion is that "No, parents are not at fault if they have done their best and their children turn away from God. I believe in the principle set forth in Proverbs " Train up a child in the way he should grow, and when he is old he will not depart from it".
Keep praying and trusting and allow God to work in their lives.

Learn more about this author, Janice Day Sirman.
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