by Penny B

Created on: March 14, 2008

You might remember being a teenager yourself, and in thinking
back, know full well that you didn't always take your parent's
good advice either. So, do you really wonder why your own teens
might not be listening to you?

In the mind of a teenager, they feel that the distance in time
between themselves and their parents might as well be a hundred
years. That is how much they feel their parents are "out of

touch" with the modern world or "their generation". They can't
comprehend, not that much has really changed over a span of a
mere twenty or so years.

THE YEARS BETWEEN CHILDHOOD AND ADULTHOOD

There is also a precarious line between childhood and adulthood.
Teens are not yet conditioned for responsibilities, having had
all their needs met by their parents for the majority of their
lives, thus far. They are teetering on the brink between childhood,
still needing their parents, and young adulthood, where they
should be taking on responsibilities. In their mind, and with a
still immature way of thinking, their idea of grown up
responsibility is in doing as they please.

Something for parents to keep in mind as well, our teens are
trying to come into their own. Their defiance, is in actuality,
a way for them to deal with the transition period of easing
gradually into adulthood. After all, when they are on their own,
we expect them to figure out certain things for themselves, be
able to make many of their own decisions with good judgments. We
don't expect them to still come running home to us, asking what
should they do in the case of this or that. Of course, as
parents, we do still want to be there for them when the going
gets rough, or should they decide to come to us for advice every
now and then. However, we just can't be there for them every day,
once they are on their own, or soon to be. This is their way of
preparing themselves for becoming independent adults.

GETTING THROUGH THE REBELIOUS YEARS

The secret to getting through these difficult times, is to always
keep an open line of communication with your teens. Don't look at
their defiance, or seemingly rebellious stage, as them being
"against" you, or that they just don't want to listen to your good
advice. Understand that they are, in their own way, trying to find
their own independence, their own footing in life. It is just
another "stage" in their lives on the road to becoming the person
that they are to be.

They are in fact, learning how to make their own decisions and it
might just seem to us parents that they are preferring to rebel
against us.

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