by Eleanor O'Donnell

Created on: March 14, 2008   Last Updated: October 25, 2008

Time-out has proven to be my first choice of discipline strategy in raising my own young child to be well behaved and considerate to the world around him. I would encourage every new parent to consider the benefits of this particular discipline method before resorting to any other; not only for the sake of harmony within your household during the early years but equally because of the way in which this kind of discipline strategy will equip your child to deal with life as they mature.

THE STRATEGY

The strategy behind employing time-outs is simply that when your child misbehaves you remove them from the situation. This makes it clear to your child that you will not accept bad behaviour from them, that no-one wants to talk to or play with them when they behave badly and that their actions have consequences. All very important life lessons to learn.

The best way to employ this strategy is to give your child a warning when they misbehave and back it up with a simple, brief explanation about why you won't accept that kind of behaviour. For example if your child is throwing food at the dinner table say "Please don't throw your food around, it's making a mess and distracting everyone". If you child persists, you can then implement the time-out making sure you calmly remind them that they were warned (therefore the punishment is a consequence of their own actions). I personally ask my son to sit on the bottom step of the stairs as this ensures his has no distractions and uses the time to reflect on what just happened.

*Be consistent in your approach. You need to give a warning in advance of implementing a time-out if you want your child to respect your authority and understand that the time-out is a result of their bad behaviour not your being unfair or having a tantrum of your own. The law does not chop and change for adults; it shouldn't do for children either.

*Be firm but not aggressive. Physical chastisement, especially of young children, just isn't acceptable or necessary in this day and age. On the flip side of the coin, it's no good dithering and allowing your child to run rings round you while you stand in the corner pleading with them to please obey you. In implementing a time-out, I ask my child to please go and sit on the stairs until he's calmed down; where he refuses I take him by the hand and lead him there myself. If a child has a particularly bad tantrum it's possible to take them firmly by both arms to guide them towards your chosen time-out area without

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