32 of 49

Write now Article Tools

In the presidential race, it will become very important for both the Democratic and Republican nominees to choose the right Vice Presidential running mates, who can compliment their abilities and can add to their campaign strategies. Here are some surefire possible choices for either party's consideration:
1. Fidel Castro: He recently became available, and has more years of experience than Hillary. I saw his resume posted on Monster, it was quite impressive.

2. Prince Harry: Has a miniscule chance of becoming King, wants to govern, and has a better war service record than George W. Bush.
3. Eliot Spitzer: At the top of every news show right now, choose him if you want to get your picture in every paper for the next two weeks . Also, he really knows how to party.
4. Jon Stewart: Get him, before he gets you, with his wise satire of your every move on the campaign trail. When on your side, Jon will lampoon the opposition candidate from the convention through election day and provide a considerable boost to your ratings.
5. Simon Cowell: Tells it like he sees it with no fear of negative reactions. The public usually votes the way Simon says to. Should work the same in a national election.
6. Ben Bernanke: Why not have the Chairman of the Federal Reserve as your V.P.? Gives great financial policy advice, and can balance a checkbook standing on his head with a blindfold on.
7. Howie Mandel: Knows how to close a deal. Also, women voters will follow his every command when he says "Ladies, please".
8. Oprah: One of the smartest ladies in the public eye. Be careful, however, of her "big give" tax cut plan.
9. Charlton Heston : Sharper shooter than Cheney, clearly an important quality in any V.P. Will attract the pro-NRA vote.
10. Dr. Phil : Ready for foreign policy negotiations, if perhaps with a slight twang.
11. Dr. Ruth Westheimer: She and McCain would look so cute together in campaign ads. Served as technical advisor to the Emperor Club.
12. This season's American Idol winner: Sew up the under-30 vote, and can sing national anthem at the convention.

I look forward to seeing any of these fine nominees at the conventions, in the White House, and as second-in-command at a critical time in our nation's history.

Learn more about this author, Dana Jaffe.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Politics?
We want to hear your view. Write now!