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Infidelity unfortunately is catnip to humans.

How many of us dream of the perfect lover when we're stuck in a dull marriage or relationship? We fantasize about the person we want whether it be a coworker, friend or even someone we just met. The problem is we want that person so much that we're willing to risk everything to get them.

Infidelity hurts. That's a fact. While we may enjoy a merry romp in someone's else bed , our loved ones will be the ones who will suffer. If they find out, their respect for us will diminish overnight. Bonds will be broken. What seemed to be long lasting trust will dissolve. Spouses and partners will always wonder what we're doing and why. Even the simplest action like buying a special trinket for no reason will be questioned. Not only that but we'll lose the respect of our children. We'll be setting a bad foundation for their future relationships. They'll think if mom or dad could cheat and get away with it, then so could I. They'll also excise us from their lives, building a lifetime of hatred against us. They'll make sure we miss out on their milestones like graduations, weddings and children. They'll no longer want to spend holidays and birthdays with us.

Is it worth being unfaithful? Absolutely not. For centuries literature and books have shown the perils of having an affair. Look at the damage an extramarital affair and subsequent child caused Anna in "Anna Karenina" or Sarah , Kate Winslett's character in the movie "Little Children.' Yes, it may be a physical high but it's really an emotional low. There wail be that constant anxiety of the spouse finding out, the heart breaking anguish of them actually discovering and the tremendous guilt for having let down the person who loves us the most. Can anyone get up in the morning and deal with all of that?

In this day and age, as in the past, infidelity is fraught with disease. During the 1800's and 1900's a husband would just bring home syphilis, a great danger in itself. Now there is a lethal cocktail of STDs that can physically ruin both lives. Add to that the grim reaper of AIDS. No affair is worth dire illness, killing not only us but our significant others as well. There will be constant blood tests with the perpetual fear that something could have been caught from a reckless lover.

It's hard to resist temptation but we must. That sounds holier than thou and preachy but , let's face it it works. We have to realize that infidelity hurts everyone, ourselves, our partners and our children. We have to see it as a danger and not some glamorous, exciting escape.

Learn more about this author, Liz Roberts.
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