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would be my chosen name.

As a survivor, being able to rename myself was an important part of my healing process. To choose a name that was reflective of who I saw myself to be. As a songwriter, I have written often about my trauma. Who I was is not who I am today. I am stronger and more able to show vulnerability. I live my life in light and have chosen to share my experience, in the hopes of helping others heal from theirs. I believe that thoughts are things and that how we see ourselves, reflects who we are and have the ability to become.

As children of trauma, we were conditioned to believe that we were worthless and deserving of our abuse. For many, this self-loathing and inner hatred has carried itself into adulthood. Through time, these patterns manifest themselves in our relationships with ourselves and those around us. Personally, I have struggled with addictions, negative thought patterns, and behaviors that have stemmed from my abuse. Healing is life-long. It takes time, effort, and a commitment in order to move forward, from darkness to light. One doesn't have to change their name in order to change who they are for the betterment of themselves. We, as survivors, deserve to be happy. To ultimately move from victim to survivor to thriver. To perhaps not even identify ourselves as such because it is so far removed from who we are that the only label we have, is the one we choose for ourselves; the name we give it.

To the Survivor: The fact that you were a victim of trauma and are here, reading this now, carries a meaning that you are a survivor by choice. On some level, unconscious or not, you chose to survive. You are a survivor. We, as adults need to recognize the strength it took to get to this place. This does not mean that we will never find ourselves thinking negatively or reverting to old thought patterns. We are human. It does mean however, choosing something else for ourselves. We must create a shift from awareness into healing by redefining who we are and what we will become. Giving ourselves the patience, time, and love in order to move forward. For me, changing my name was a step I needed to begin my journey of letting go of the past. What matters most is not what we are called but what and who we are. So we must first believe that we are worthy of love. It is through the practice of self-love, that we are truly able to love one another. On our own terms.

Learn more about this author, Ophelia de Serres.
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