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Oh my God NO! My girlfriend decided a good way to broaden my musical taste would be to fill up my 140 gigabyte iPod with the entire musical collections of Yani, ''Weird Al'' Yankovic, William Hung, and Paris Hilton.

After I dumped her, I realized I had an enormous problem on my hands. How was I going to erase 50,000 songs of the worst music ever made from my iPod? I had no idea how to go about this, and my first thought was to contact my priest to give Poddy (that's my terrific iPod's name) a good old exorcism and send those demon songs back to the fiery pit of hell from whence they came.

At confession, I told my priest my dilemma, and like the great saintly man he is, he knew the answer to my problem. "Alex my son, what you need is not the Holy Ghost to empty your iPod, but a brain to fill your head. Try iTunes to rid yourself from your troubles."

I couldn't believe that he told me that. I said to him frustrated, "Why would I want to try your tunes? I don't like that crazy gospel music either!" He then proceeded to give me ten lashings that he seemed to enjoy a little too much, and afterwards explained to me that iTunes was the software program on my computer used to put the music onto my iPod.

I thought, well duh! That made perfect sense. I then went to my computer and activated the wonderful iTunes program, connected Poddy, and the first thing he asked me was if I wanted to sync him with my iTunes library of awesomely great music, but warned me that he would erase all the evil music already on there.

I immediately exclaimed, "Yes! Do it now Podster!" but realized that Poddy wasn't voice activated, and hit the "Ok" button instead. Soon afterwards Poddy erased the horrendous spawn of the devil, and synced up with my iTunes library of sweet music. I quickly realized that I could also delete lame songs manually from Poddy by clicking them from iTunes and hitting the delete key. Who could have guessed that would work?

I'm extremely happy now, living the good life, relaxing at work, currently listening to Kenny G, and the next song is by my favorite musicians of all time, Insane Clown Posse.

I CAN'T WAIT!

Learn more about this author, Alex Landis.
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