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So many times I wish I had a brain recorder, yes, a brain recorder to record all of my internal thoughts. There are so many, so vast, so distant, yet all so relevant to one another in the end. I keep telling myself to try and write some of these thoughts down, of course I always have an excuse to put it off, but I feel this burning need to serve up this stir-fry I got cooking. Want to know the true feelings of a 42 yr. old woman, mid-life, mildly bulging gut, slight, yet noticeable signs of aging, menopausal (through surgical means), lack of sexual desire, lack of life desire, sound like you, perhaps your wife?

Yeah, well here we are, 2008, god, what an awful day in time, well to me anyway. I grew up in the 1970's and 80's and I have always fantisized about the 1920's through the 60's, always feeling like I had missed my real era. Geez, I don't know what to think now, even my days are sounding great, which they were, I just didn't know how great until the past couple of years. I mean, tell me someone, what is going on in this world? That is my self-reflection of present, and what in the hell-o can I do about it? Things are crazy. We are crazy. Look at where we have led ourselves as a nation, as families, but most of all, as individual beings. That is my worry. Me, you, us.

I feel that I cannot, however, change the world. However, may I change some tunnel vision, some one-way thinking in someone that may inspire another and yet another? Yes I can.

What is bothering me today about the world, about myself? Politics. Wow, where do I begin? This is neverending for me. I am a desperate newshound. I watch CNN way too much, but still feel un-informed for some reason. Why? Is it the current feeds we have going on today? TV, e-mail, cell phones, alerts...blah, blah, blah. Info overload! I can hardly take care of a checkbook, yet I seem to be very capable of taking care of the multi-DVR line-up schedule, how is that? I realize how spoiled in life I have allowed myself to become, yet still seem to justify it by buying into the current American Dream! What is the American Dream anymore?

Do the politicians know where we stand as Americans? I am not really sure. I am not sure we know where we stand as Americans. Where do we find ourselves today? Are you happy? Are you secure? Do you feel safe? Do you feel safe walking down your street after dark? Are you happy with your home life, your children's values and quality of family life? How do you feel when you watch the news?

I find

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