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What happens when you become a parent? A mystical transformation or as others claim is it like being trained on a battle field. There can be no denying that deciding to have children can be the most important decision and commitment you will likely ever make. To truly be a parent, is to establish that the responsibility for another life will be yours. It is a solemn promise to society that you will be bringing forth a person that will someday contribute his or her talents and skills in some way. I will fully admit that when my husband and I were in deep discussion about when to have our first of three children, I didn't give the whole pros and cons thing a lot of credence. I was in my late twenties, happily married for 4 years and not really a career person. I wanted the experience of raising children and I felt I was ready for it. Beginning from the time the test came back positive, I started to form in my head what kind of parent I wanted to be. Like everyone else, I reflected on my own childhood and thought about what I would do the same and how I would do things differently. I daydreamed about tiny fingers and toes, giggles, long walks and adoring, trusting eyes looking up at me. It was for me a sense of awe that deep inside of my body there was someone waiting to be. At the time, I thought in less than a year I will be a parent. Even through all the morning sickness, of which there was plenty, the tight fitting clothes, doctor visits, increased hormones, size and discomfort I still really enjoyed my pregnancy and all that it meant. I also noticed that I worried every day about the life I was carrying. Would he be healthy? Fears about delivery and being able to cope crept into my mind more frequently. I started to doubt whether I would have the patience and strength to deal with a newborn. How would I ever contend with a crisis if my child got hurt or sick? Would I be forced to give up a part of who I am in order to care for this baby? Why hadn't I thought this through better during the Pros and Cons stage, what could I have been thinking? Trying to keep my emotions in check proved to be challenging, as family, friends and even strangers came to me bearing bits and pieces of well intended advice and stories of their childrearing days. I began to feel overwhelmed by the entire unsolicited candor. As the time came closer, I was quite literally bursting at the seams both physically and mentally.

On the day that my son was born,

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