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Would you divorce your wife/husband if they refused to give up smoking? I was surprised at this question. Is smoking really grounds for divorce? Sounds to me that if anyone had to ask this question in the first place would have to be a control person or maybe they just want a divorce. Do as I say or I will divorce you. Please!

When I met my husband, I was a smoker. He likes his snuff. It wasn't until after the I do's that he mentions I need to quit smoking. Most smokers already know they need to quit but I didn't get married only to change my habits for the one who doesn't like them. He thought I should respect his wishes. When I got tired of all the nagging and carring on, I tried to quit for him, only to find myself only smoking when he wasn't around. Then the resentment comes along. You get mad at the one who trying to change something that you don't want changed. That will cause problems or at least it did for me. I wasn't quiting smoking for me, I was trying to do it for someone else and that just doesn't work.

When people get married, they get the good and the bad habits of each other. I don't care what anyone says, I don't believe that any couple likes everything about their spouse. Marriage is not about control, it's about compromise. There is a compromise with just about every problem in a marriage. I got married for love and companionship and not so someone could try to control my every move or try to change something they don't like. As we get older, we naturally change. My husband and I have more respect for each other now than we did 20 some years ago.

This is my 25th year of marriage. I still smoke. My husband still doesn't like it but we compromised. I don't smoke in the house so my husband doesn't have to smell or breathe it. I go outside to smoke and if he comes out with me, he chose to come out where the smoke is, I didn't force him and he need not say anything about it.

Even though we could have divorced many times, smoking was not one of the issues for divorce. Before people try to change the one they are married to, look for compromise. You will usually find one if you really want to stay married.

Learn more about this author, Luella Smith.
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