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sense to know what something costs before you buy it right? If you're going to take a girl for a private dance, ask her what it'll cost first. If you're in a total dive it might be $10. At a classy joint it could be $50 or more. The price is always "per song" so don't let her start until the beginning of a new song - until that point, hang out and chat. If you get stuck with a short song, that's just the luck of the draw - don't complain, just pay. If you don't have enough cash in your pocket to pay for the dance don't get it. Strip club are not well known for being savory places and you don't want to risk a beating because you ran up $100 in lap dances to look in your wallet and only find $20. If you do that, you're looking for trouble. Strip clubs do cash business - they might have a cash machine with a ridiculous fee associated to it. They might advance cash off your credit card. Really though, if you're planning a night out at the nudie-bar, there's no excuse for not bringing enough cash - set a budget, bring the money, leave enough in the toe of your sock for a cab ride home.

Guideline three: Know the rules. If you're planning to have a private dance it's really important that you know the rules - that is, what can you get away with and what will get you onto a bouncer's bad side. Just like tipping customs, this varies widely across the board. In some places, there will be a mandated 4' distance between the dancer and the customer. Some places will be a cozy lap dance with a towel across your lap (and don't think about unzipping your pants) separating you from the dancer. In some jurisdictions it is completely reasonable to touch above the waist. There's only one thing you need to know wherever you are. Immediately after you ask the girl, "how much is it for a private dance," you ask the girl, "what are the rules?" It's that simple. She'll tell you exactly what the rules are and these are the rules you live by.

Guideline four: Don't criticize a stripper ever. They have a tough job filled with self-esteem erosion - they don't need your two cents. By the same token, they don't need your compliments either. A genuine compliment in fine, but unnecessary. A backhanded compliment such as, "you're really good looking - you could be an actress or a model or something - you don't need to be here," can be the most hurtful. Just enjoy yourself. Strippers need a running commentary about as much as librarians do.

Guideline five: Ignore the other guys there. You're not

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