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Strip clubs, by their very nature have an alluring mystique to the young man who all too often makes his first visit there by sneaking in when underaged or taking a cavalier trip upon assuming the age of majority. Either way, if it is your first time in a strip club you need to know that it's not some bawdy free-for-all; there are rules and there are guidelines and both need to be respected in order for you to have a good time.

Rule one: Don't proposition the girls. Every day in every strip club, some young guy walks in and jokingly or otherwise tries to pay a girl for sex. A strip club is not a whorehouse and asking a girl for sex of any kind is a sure way to get thrown out.

Rule two: Be discreet. It should go without saying, but if you see your dad's married friend, your priest, or your neighbor from across the street in a strip club, you don't shout to them from across the floor. Whether or not you think it's appropriate to say something to them at home is fine, but you should assume that somebody you run into in a strip club wishes to remain anonymous there. Discretion also involves your own person. It's not the slightest bit cool to walk over to the bar sporting an erection.

Rule three: Show a little respect. A stripper's job involves appearing as a mindless nymphette, but she's still a real person underneath with real hopes and dreams, real feelings, and a real family. A stripper should get exactly the same amount of respect you afford to a waitress, a clerk, or a librarian. She's doing her job dealing with customers and serving the public - it's a hard job and she doesn't need to have her day messed up by some drunk who thinks he's funny but isn't.

Now that the basic rules are out there (and they are obvious rules) there are some more subtle guidelines that you should pay attention to.

Guideline one: Do what everybody else is doing. If you want to tip the stripper, check out what other people are doing. This will really vary with location. If you're in Colorado, guys will simply be piling up $5 bills on the stage and getting very little value for their money. In Canada it is completely reasonable to lie down on the stage with $5 in your mouth to be picked up in an interesting way after some undetermined personal attention. Every state has its own rules and customs and for that matter every club. Any which way you slice it, don't do anything until you see somebody else do it first (and not get bounced out the door).

Guideline two: Know the price. It's common

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