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by the darkness of midnight 24/7 and that most amazingly of all there were people outside of my close circle of friends, including my own family, who actually cared about what I thought and for my well-being.

All of these gradual realizations were in turn shaping my person, defining my growth, personality, maturity, understanding and purpose in life. My interaction with people was beginning to change in dramatic fashion. I was developing an understanding of what role I could play within our own community, the region and beyond. My self-esteem was increasing day by day and I felt as though I was a flower budding from seed, rising from the soil to form an independent yet integral part of the world around me.

I remember spending long hours reflecting upon who I was, what I had or hadn't accomplished at any given point in time, and the long list of "to do's" that still lay before me. One of our strongest influences with respect to who we are as a person may lie in our comparison of ourselves against those we come into contact every day.

How often have we looked upon someone with great admiration, someone who has achieved a success in their lives that we want to emulate for ourselves? It is important, too, that we maintain a perspective of our own importance and achievements, however large or small, in order to draw from the strengths we have developed to further shape and define ourselves as an individual and a member of society.

Over the years we take stock in our accomplishments, the tangible and intangible assets that we have acquired. Perhaps the most influential period in our lives is reaching middle age, a time of serious evaluation of what we have or have not accomplished and how we perceive of ourselves vs. how we perceive others' perception of ourselves.

If I could characterize my own definition in any logical sense, as I too have reached middle age, it is that I have spent the better part of my personal life and career striving to make life better for those I associate with and those I serve in a professional capacity. Have I achieved all that I want to personally or professionally? The answer at this stage in my life would be a categorical no. Questions still linger, answers still ambiguous, uncertainty still there about many issues.

Am I a well-rounded person worthy of others' praise and admiration? Have I raised the bar for others to aspire to accomplish in their own right? Have I discovered what defines me to others...and to myself?

What defines a person in the eyes of another? Is it their relationship with other people? Has life's many circumstances shaped their very definition...life partner; marriage; divorce; death of a loved one; birth of their child; the role their parents played in their lives and the very role they play as a parent; how they communicate with others?

Every conceivable event that we are exposed to, everything we experience throughout our entire lives will have some measurable impact on our personal character, who and what we are. Each of life's observances shape our personal structure, our definition. How we react to what we witness further acts to define us as a person.

We each influence our personal definition, as does the world that surrounds us.

Learn more about this author, Don MacIver.
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