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The Older Woman

We live in a world of expectations. Male or female, young or old, there are just certain things expected of you by the rest of society. There are no limits to these expectations, no boundary too intimate to cross. Everything from our sex life to our personal appearance is subject to judgment by our neighbors, classmates, and co-workers.

Consider the example of the hit ABC show "Desperate Housewives". In the opening episodes, we are privy to the secret love affair between a married "woman of a certain age" and her 18 year old, still in high school boyfriend. There is a tenderness between them which is unmistakable, their illicit encounters all the more forgivable because of the overbearing husband our heroine must live with. She is well provided for by said husband, yet women across America swooned when the handsome young man brought her what he considered to be the perfect rose. Their love is nearly pure, almost untainted were it not for that pesky marriage in the way.

Now reverse the roles. It's the husband who has the teenage girlfriend. We watch her fall ever deeper in love with him, fawning on his every word. What are the expectations of this relationship? Do we believe it to be just as pure, just as innocent as the opposite situation? Do we feel hope for the young lady in lady or dread at what will surely be her betrayal at the hands of that "dirty old man"?

These are not just questions reserved for televisions soap stories. Across the nation, thousands of couples face the same issues in their day to day lives simply because of their age difference and what is expected of them by the rest of society. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, these are merely popularized tales of the older woman/younger man configuration which has very different expectations on it than the opposite arrangement.

I am a thirty one year old man. I am, by the opinions I have gathered so far, not an unattractive guy to be around. Athletically fit, fairly intelligent, and a great outgoing personality have gained me a fair share of female attention so many of my demographic crave. My fianc is fourteen years older, twice divorced, with three nearly grown children. In fact, her oldest is a guy I would probably have a round of beers with at the local eatery. He's old enough to buy his alcohol legally and enough like his mother to make him a good friend to talk with.

Yet, here we are. The age difference between us is often the topic of conversation,

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