Dealing with the depression and loneliness after a divorce can be overwhelming. You go over the details of what happened before the divorce time after time, trying to understand what really went wrong. Was it something you did, something you said....why weren't you enough? The truth is there is no answer. You can't speak for someone else, nor feel the emotions that they feel. As someone once said, "You cannot help how someone else acts, you can only control how you react." Your ex can only hurt you as long as you allow yourself to feel hurt. Take the control and the power over your emotions away from the other person and be responsible for them yourself

The best thing to do is start saying good riddance instead of regretting goodbye. Sounds like a country song that Rebba would sing doesn't it? But it's the truth. Don't waste your energy on a bad love, or else you won't have the energy to love yourself, or anyone else who may come your way. It's a good thing that you are out of the situation that was making you miserable. Don't ever regret that decision.

It's time to move on! Get a hobby, get a job, take a class, or go back to school. Just DO something instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Keeping your sanity is the most important thing you can do for yourself, and you won't be able to do that just sitting around thinking of what should or could have been. You owe yourself happiness. And only you can supply it.

It won't be easy. Most things in life that are truly important are not easy to obtain. If things came too easily they wouldn't be appreciated or valued for their worth. It really is possible to get a new life, one without the heartache and pain that you have endured lately. So dry the tears, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that this is for "You". Keep positive and keep busy. When the lonely thoughts creep in (and they will at times), put on some music and dance the blues away. Or go out and treat yourself to a movie. Motivate yourself either physically or mentally. Life may have knocked you down, but it didn't knock you out. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with living a good life.

A final word of advice...don't let the past define who you are and who you can be in the future. You are worth more than that.

We all are!

Learn more about this author, Kathryn Hood.
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