3 of 25

Write now Article Tools

Facing death is never an easy thing to do, its perhaps one of the
most difficult things. I know when I was facing my late husbands
death it seemed like time stood still. I could see the signs,
see how much pain he was in. After awhile you wouldn't know what
to pray for anymore. I didn't want him to suffer but I wanted
him to be here also. I could see it in his eyes and after awhile
he wouldn't even talk to me. It wasn't that he didn't want to,
but he just didn't have the strength. I could see the yellow
jaundice in him, the yellowing of age, and how he aged before
his time. I remember thinking that things will never be the same,
and knowing that he was getting close to his time. I didn't know
which way to go, which way to turn, I turned to the Chapel to pray,
but in my heart I knew that he was going to go.
Everytime the nurse would stick a needle in him I felt like
they were sticking one in my heart. I was there pretty much all
of the time, at times it was unbearable to see the pain. Then
he couldn't eat much, throwing up. The doctor put him on a blood
bag and it kept him going. But for how long? I'd wonder, watching
my husband deterioriate into nothing. It will be something that
will be embedded in my memory. When the last days of his demise
I knew the end was near. When his Aunt's came to the house and
told me that he had died. I knew in my heart for it felt dead just
like he was. I felt nothing, numb, I couldn't face the fact of
his death. I had a drink in my hand, and I wanted to drink to
oblivion, drink to die, to be with him.
I knew that facing death with my late husband was horrible,
it was horrendous, it took a huge part of me. I couldn't function,
couldn't do much. I remember stumbling out of the bed just wanting
to die myself. Whether your facing death with a loved one, or
someone that is close to you, it has so much impact on you. It
changes your life, makes you see things in a different view. You
know that life is brief, life takes you when you least expect. You've
got to live life to the fullest, to do what you've got to do. Then
you know that you've had a good life. We know that dieing is apart
of living, that the ones we love don't last forever. They do last
in your minds eye, in your memory. For its with time that you can
let go, you can accept and carry on.

Learn more about this author, Myrna Writewood.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Drama: Facing death?
We want to hear your view. Write now!