Sex appeal is based upon a variety of things, but one of the main ones is definitely confidence. Without confidence, an otherwise beautiful woman or a handsome man won't get dates. A regular gal or fellow with regular looks can get dates if they both have confidence in their body language and themselves.

Case in point: I have seen plenty of pretty or beautiful women who could never get dates. I pondered and pondered, "Why is this the case? What are the similarities between all these women, that makes them 'unattractive' to men?" Suddenly, it dawned upon me. They were all quite insecure, either in their personality or even their looks, and they always closed up like Quahog clams whenever a decent man approached them. Once they were practically immobilized, there seemed to be no chance of them getting dates or even phone numbers.

Sex appeal, therefore, is more than just looks. Don't get me wrong, looks can take a person very far. But, for those people who realize that looks do fade and the personality wins out in the long run, even outwardly beautiful people have to be inwardly beautiful, too.

Confidence and self-acceptance are key in achieving any level of sex appeal. If a person can't look at himself or herself naked, then what good would that do when it comes to intimacy? People with body image problems have a low self-esteem; many of them do not exhibit sexual appeal because they are afraid to "flaunt what their momma gave them."

So, why is beauty ousted when it comes to sex appeal? It probably comes from a battle between genetics versus environment. People can turn out beautiful if the genetics are there (and always keep in mind that 'beauty' is defined loosely and everyone has his/her different 'eye' for it). However, everyone can achieve some sort of self-confidence. Therefore, the chances of being with a "really outwardly beautiful person" is pretty slim when weighed against the chances of being with a "really inwardly beautiful person." People need to procreate, and it is this natural instinct that somehow overturns the beauty factor and favors the confidence, or "sexual appeal," factor.

Thus, it is pretty safe to say that a person can't have sex appeal without being confident with his/her body image and personality flaws. Sex appeal has a lot to do with those two concerns, but if a person is in control of how he/she feels about those things, then sex appeal comes quite naturally.

Learn more about this author, Joan Inong.
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