by Megan Bayliss

Created on: November 18, 2006   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Personal debt is all too common. When two personal debts meet, fall in love and marry, they share their companionship, their dreams, their space and often their individual debts incurred before entering the marriage. Amalgamation of multiple and individual debts into one is the chosen method of debt reduction for many couples. It makes economic sense to pay less bank fees, lower interest and have a streamlined method of payment. The romantic ideal behind the economic rationalism is, "What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine because we love each other, we are a team." Be careful for what you wish!

"When I grow up I want to marry debt," is a statement never heard from a child. Nevertheless, it is reality for far too many couples starting their life together. Romantic notions of togetherness, love and forward movement signify trust and commitment. Debts amalgamate and grow because the couple has the rest of their life together to pay for them. However, just as all things in life have a reverse side so too does the trust and commitment invested in relationship debt.

The reverse of debt trust is, Sexually Transmitted Debt. Sexually Transmitted Debt describes the reality of one partner's exposure to unanticipated debt falling solely on them because of being married to, living with, or having a family relationship with, another person. The debt may well have been joint debt, made that way either through amalgamation of individual debts incurred prior to relationship or through the joint purchase of a piece of marital property, but if one part defaults, the legal onus is on the other to pay the full amount, not just their share.

Unlike the treatment for a sexually transmitted infection, sexually transmitted debt is far harder to cure. Its lasting legacy scars credit ratings, places individuals below the poverty line and impedes upon future quality of life.

Case study: Nagem and Luap, both previously divorced, met, married and moved countries to begin life anew. Each had some savings and combined them to purchase a home. Professionals, they worked hard and bought a second property. With Nagem earning the greater amount, Luap entered a Doctoral program and returned to full time study as a way to create future income leverage for the family. Nagem worked additional hours to pay the two mortgages and agreed to Luap buying a new car so that he could reliably travel to his college. At college, Luap fell in love with a fellow student and left Nagem to move in with his new

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