by Mike Ogden

Created on: March 09, 2008

She ran into the street stark naked, waving her arms wildly and screaming at the top of her voice, "Stop, stop!" Children's jaws dropped. Adults cringed. Pigeons pooped. (Pigeons always poop, no matter what is going on.)

Until that day it had never once crossed my seven year old mind that females came in nude.

It was a hot summer day and a couple of us were next door at Kenny's house watching him torture lizards. Kenny was not quite right, but he was older and bigger and we were afraid he would torture US if we got in his way. In spite of our fear, we hung around looking for opportunities to rescue small living things on their way to less advantageous conditions.

Today Kenny had turned his bike upside down and attached a lizard to the spokes. He'd spin the wheel hard, give the lizard a temporary parole and watch it stumble around, incapable of reconciling sky to earth. Kenny named each new lizard Otis, after the Mayberry town drunk. When it got too stupid to answer to Otis he would rename it Barney.

After a few too many times around the Ferris Wheel, "Barney" would inevitably expire, not having been allowed a bullet with which to defend himself.

Sometime during these happy festivities we heard the old familiar tune. The ice cream truck was coming! Usually a cause for excitement, alas, on this day none of us had the requisite 12 cents, so we reconciled ourselves to forgoing a Popsicle break.

That was when we beheld Kenny's sister, having escaped her bath prematurely, running naked into the street yelling, desperate for her daily ice cream fix.

All she had on was 12 cents, but that was all she needed to score a Dreamsicle. She calmed down as she walked slowly back to the house, licking her treat.

She was only ten, but to this seven-year-old boy she suddenly seemed strangely mature.

Kenny and his sister were always a bit different. I'm guessing Kenny may have landed a job "doing things" for the government.

As for Beth, the power of a bare naked woman should never be underestimated. I can still see Beth running after that ice cream truck like it was yesterday. For a long time I was enamored of her, but my crush faded as we got older.

Just as Barney had taken one ride too many on the makeshift Ferris wheel, it eventually became clear Beth had gone a few too many rounds with the ice cream truck.

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