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First Dates

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A guy's guide to planning a first date

First dates are always rather tricky. Like Jerry Seinfeld said, the first date is more of a job interview than an actual date. It can be nerve wracking, uncomfortable and has the capability of making a few short hours feel like an eternity.

There are, however, a few things any guy can do to keep the first date/interview from going south, and in a perfect world, actually enjoy it.

1) Keep the date conversational. Like it or not, most first dates are used to get to know someone a little better. Do not waste this opportunity by sitting in a movie theater or loud club setting where the two of you aren't engaged in some form of banter. A silent date isn't really a date at all. During this time of discovery, avoid statements that involve "ex-girlfriends," "frat brothers," or "Mom."

2) Keep the date active. Having your first date involve an activity promotes the conversations that you should be having. When the two of you are actively engaged, it gives an easy topic of conversation and can minimize those awkward silences that a first date dinner can bring. If you're dating someone that likes activity, think mini-golf. Sure, it's a little juvenile, but she will appreciate your originality. If weather doesn't permit, find a trivia night at a quieter bar or coffee house. As an added bonus, activities like these will keep you away from those fatal "me and my college buddies used to do this when we were hammered" statements.

3) Your first date isn't about you, and I mean this on a number of levels. First, try to pick an activity that will be enjoyed by both of you. A first date with someone who is interested in the arts probably won't go over very well if you take them to the batting cages or the skating rink. On the other side of the coin, taking a die hard Yankee fan to the Renaissance fair could make for some uncomfortable moments.

Second, treat a first date like a first sales call. Spend as much time as you can listening rather than talking about yourself. Droning on about your work, your car, etc. will make appear to be more narcissistic than you may be. Make every attempt to ask open ended questions that will prevent simple "yes" or "no" answers.

Finally, when you listen, actively listen. Follow up your date's statements with questions that relate to what they just said.

4) Relax! It's only a date. You and your date will only have as much fun as you allow. Keep it as light hearted as humanly possible. Nobody wants to equate their first date with visiting hours at a funeral home.

Learn more about this author, Joe Jenkins.
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