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Who do relationships fail? It is a question that should be asked more often and exhaustively researched. As proven by the wealth of information on the Internet related to this topic, there are many ideas as to why relationships do not last the way they seem to have once upon a time. "Once upon a time" seems to be a fitting phrase here, as most of the world seems to want to have a fairytale relationship or be in love the way they perceive it should be in the movies.

I am lucky enough to have incredible examples of long-lasting relationships in my family. My parents have been married for almost 40 years and that is almost unheard of today. The real jewel in my family's crown is my grandparents. They have been married for 61 years.

Of course I have asked my grandmother the secret to a long and successful marriage and she has always been brutally honest in her reply. "You have to work at it. Every day of your married life is work. Some of the days are good and that makes for easy work. Some of the days aren't as good and those are where you really have to forge ahead and commit to making it through those times." This is some sound advice from a very qualified woman!

Couples in our world today have grown accustomed to instant results and a number of gadgets that make our lives run smoothly and more efficiently. We are also inundated with images of what advertisers want us to believe is what we want and anything less is unacceptable. We have fallen victim to a grave and devastating pattern where we no longer understand the value and determination it takes to have interpersonal relationships, including marriage. If it isn't easy, fun and rewarding, why should we do it?

Ask any individual what their favorite movie is and he or she will most likely name a great film with a very strong relationship at the center of the story. Most good movies are so good that they give the audience the illusion of being real or factually based. We want to be in a relationship in a movie. Movies make it look easy to endure what most relationships experience over time. The line between reality and fantasy is becoming blurred and the value of a relationship is its casualty.

Many people spend much of their adult lives devoted to building a successful career. There doesn't seem to be enough energy we can put into our jobs in order to advance and become as successful as possible. Where did relationships become less valuable than jobs? Could it be that we think work should be difficult while relationships should be as easy as the gadgets we use daily or the example of love we just saw in a movie? Or are bonds with others disposable like many other useful things we utilize almost every day?

In order to change how we regard our relationships, we must adjust how we view them. To loosely reference a common movie theme, when we get older and come home, will our jobs be there to welcome us or will there be a special someone waiting at the door? As humorous as this example may be, it poses a very simple idea that requires consideration and hopefully a change of heart.

Learn more about this author, Kelly Wolf.
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