by Jay Commins

Created on: March 07, 2008   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

Stress is something we all face in today's society; even children are being diagnosed with stress-related illnesses, which is something that we all have to address. So how can you beat it? The reality is that what works for one person may not work at all well for another; for example, for some, Yoga is the answer to stress, whilst for others, it provides even more time for your brain to be counting the number of other things you could be doing instead.

However, there are some things that everyone can try out. Some will work, some will not. The key is to recognise which are working, and then see how you can move forward with these techniques to make a real difference in your life.

1. Work out what causes you stress.
This sounds really obvious, but if you want to combat stress, you need to indentify the causes - and this could be literally anything from money worries, problems at work, pressure from family, illness, etc. Write down each of the causes, why and how it causes you stress. Doing this is often quite a stressful process in itself, but persevere and get the list down on paper.

2. Decide if you can deal with the causes of your stress
Some things in life we can control, like our jobs, some we cannot. For those things that you can deal with, figure out how you can change your situation. Dealing with the cause is often far simpler than coping with the effects. This might be a series of small steps like leaving work at a set time every day, organising your desk and your job list, making a big list of jobs every day and picking off the smallest and quickest in a morning, so that you look to have made a bigger impact on the list.

3. Make a list of five things that will help you to relax and destress
For some people, strenuous sporting activity is relaxing, whilst for others, a massage or even time spent in a dark room with music playing can help. Even a long bubble bath can help, as long as it is free from interruptions. You may need to enlist help from friends of family, for example, watching the kids whilst you enjoy half an hour of you-time. Once you have your list, plan to do at least two of the activities per week. Then add on one further activity that you'd like to try; this might be a new sport or pampering activity, walking, visiting old friends, for example, and then plan when you can do it. And don't accept your own excuses that you don't have time; make time!

4. Learn to say 'no'!
Too often, the people who end up really stressed are the ones who take on way too much for one person to cope with, whilst those who have learned to delegate have a far happier life. You may not have the chance to delegate much in your life, but you do have the opportunity to refuse to take on more. If you are not comfortable with saying no, then by all means say yes, but qualify with a realistic timescale. "Of course, but I'm not going to get round to it until next month. Is that okay?" That way, you avoid taking on immediate, undue pressure without appearing difficult or unco-operative.

5. Talk about it
Stress often makes people retreat into themselves, and this means that they become increasingly isolated, although in reality, the people around you are likely to be going through exactly the same thing. Talk to friends about their coping strategies; you may find that a problem shared is a problem halved, and by encouraging each other, you can work your way out of stress together.

Learn more about this author, Jay Commins.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.