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Love and happily ever after do not follow suite like in the fairy tales. Surely you know this fact? After walking down the aisle in the big pretty gown and taking a large trip to your dream vacation, real life starts and you are confronted with the big question of "Who did I really marry?" and "How did I get here?"

One of the best pieces of advice that I was given at my bridal shower was from my grandmother in-law "Honey, whateva' ya'll did to fall in love keep doing it." Well, almost 8 years into the marriage, I felt that it was all about to come crumbling down around me when the ever growing "to do" swallowed up my love for my husband. More and more he became less of the man I married and more of the bore who had tied me down and domesticated me. What a quandary.

Inundated with a full time teaching job, two children under the age of 4, and a home to upkeep, I felt like the walls were closing in and I knew intellectually that I loved him somewhere, but "Where did it go?" I am learning the hard way that marital health has to be ranked first when you join your life with another human.

So, what did we do to fall in love?

1. Holding hands for no reason.

It may sound silly but my husband and I use to hold hands while driving down the road to the movie theatre when we were dating. We use to gravitate towards one another and seek the nearness of the other without there being a promise of a sexual favor. This closeness communicated our solidarity and confirmed our commitment as a couple. Well after a miscarriage, and two kids life got extremely busy and the touching went out the door in a blink of an eye. This left both of us feeling rejected and longing for that closeness and solidarity that we used to possess.

2. Long kisses for the enjoyment of it.

Who has time to kiss? Along with cuddling the kiss has become unfashionable in our lives. Confronted with two sets of round orbs that follow our every move and respond "eeeww..." in unison, kisses have been removed from our success story. Kissing has a quality to it that makes one a part of the kosmos and for that moment in times stops all your worries so there is nothing but enjoyment. Kiss passionately and kiss often.

3. Listening without interuption.

Time and money is what modern society dictates life is about. We have more ways to communicate, but do we really listen what we each are actually saying? When we date we spend hours talking about nothing so it seems, but somehow in this jumbled conversations a bond of love is

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