by Danelle Karth

Created on: March 06, 2008

Nature is full of parents who opt out of parent hood. There are lots of mothers who are left alone to raise their offspring, and even a few fathers who do the parenting. The polar bear mother will be seen with her two cubs crossing the ice sheets alone. Yet the Betta fish male will be the one to carefully keep his babies in the nest until it is time for them to leave. Other circumstances exist where both parents and even the group, help to raise the babies. For humans, it is more complicated.

We have mothers who opt out, and fathers who opt out, and even cases where both parents opt out of parenthood. But should they be able to? It may only take a biological act to have children, but in being responsible enough or feeling you are responsible enough for that biological act, you should have the responsibility to the children who are more then a by product.

Parental Responsibilities.
Figuring out the responsibilities that a parent holds is often a difficult factor. There is a lot that goes into good parenting, both good fathering and good mothering. However, it shouldn't be a choice as to whether or not you can decide to opt out. It isn't like opting out of a vote. Or opting not to ride the bus. It goes beyond yourself and touches the heart and soul of at least one other human being.

Being a parent is about taking care of, helping to raise, and touching a new life in a positive way. Parents who opt out of parenthood have touched their children in such ways that they have caused a great deal of harm. Many of these children grow up with confusion about love, struggling to deal with who they are and what they will be doing. Often times they have parenting issues of their own and they perpetuate a cycle that causes more and more injured children.

It Is Not About You.
Oh, it may seem easiest for you, or your partner. After all, you lack the skills to be a good parent, right. So, you can step to the side and leave it to someone else. But, what about what's best for that child? What is best for them is that you figure it out, you take it one step at a time, and you learn to be a good parent. It can be done and it is what is best for your child!

My father opted out of the parenting part of parenthood. He liked to claim my achievements, my intelligence, my college education, and my goals. But he had never been there. This caused a great deal of pain and caused me to struggle to figure out who I was and how I wanted my life to look. It caused me to take up with looser men and to feel that, that was as good as it got. The thing that changed me was true love. However, I still struggle with feeling inadequate. If my own father didn't want me, then why would anyone else?

These are the things passed to your child when you simply opt out of parenthood. It is something that causes pain, heartache, and tears for your child for years to come. After all, this isn't how it is supposed to work in the human family and this isn't the same as opting out of a job!

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