In my opinion there is no leader in the family. It is a united front between husband and wife. You each share in all decisions that are made. When I think of a 'head of the household' I start to cringe. It is too reminiscent of the 1950's and the stereotype of the subservient wife who has no say in anything and who only re sights 'yes sir' and 'no sir' to her husband.

I think that modern day society has come quite a ways. The male is definitely no longer the leader of the household. A good strong marriage consists of a partnership. A union of two best friends who share common ground and are both intelligent and educated enough to be make meaningful decisions as far as the family goes, financial decisions, living decisions, and every other aspect of day to day life.

Now I'm not saying that one spouse might have a stronger personality because that is always a possibility. But, I truly believe that to survive in a marriage it takes two alpha pairs. Just like wolves. But when one of the alphas is right then the other alpha respects that. But that is based on friendship and understanding. It is based on sitting down and discussing the issues at hand and working them out.

All relationships change and evolve over time. Sometimes there is a crisis in the family and it takes one of the spouses to step forward and hold the reins and keep things together. Its often nice to have a strong person to lean on when the time is right. Its nice to have a friend who also happens to be your beloved spouse to turn too. Relationships are complex issues and we each find a groove that works for us if we are to survive the years. But I don't think there is ever one true leader in a good relationship. It is a shared leadership. Two is always stronger then one. So, truly, if you stand united then you are a much stronger front and a much stronger relationship. Of course, you will not always agree on everything. But if you have a good foundation of communication then you should be able to sit down and discuss the situations that arise in life and work through anything.

Learn more about this author, Kim Sharpe.
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