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squeal?' he asked. 'We cannot abide this abuse, we cannot wallow idly by...if it's true what this Luke fellow says that God would place us below demons and allow us to drown, at the request of a filthy lunatic - then why should we place any faith in God? If He will not protect us in times of relative peace, then why should he protect us in times of peril? And we now face grave peril at the hands of these Christians. Then why should we believe in God...?' A gasp shuddered the audience. An old swine fainted and fell with a smack into the mud. The young piglet tittered nervously. 'Oh pooh,' she said. That was her favorite word - she'd only learned it the week before.

'Let us not be rash!' Angelika cried. 'Surely God loves us too!'

'Let us not be rashers,' Tomas retorted.

An enormous hog, known simply as Boss, stood forth. 'Let Nicolas finish!'

A furious argument erupted, which was short-lived. At the end of that historic meeting it was unanimously decided that all swine everywhere henceforth would be atheists. And so it is to this very day. Which is why Christians everywhere love bacon and even more importantly, why it's alright.

Mmmmm...bacon!

THE END

POST SCRIPT: It should be noted that chickens and pigs have an uneasy relationship. Neither one likes being thought of as the 'other white meat'. Cows, trying to keep a low profile, have nothing to say on the matter.

Learn more about this author, Christopher Lapinel.
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