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A long long time ago, all the elite swine decided to convene an emergency meeting. This was a dark period in their history. They'd been persecuted for years, going right back to Adam. It'd gotten a little better with the advent of Judaism, but then Jesus had come on the scene. Things started to get very bad. Suddenly bacon, pork-chops and baby-back ribs were back on the menu. And then there was 'the incident'. The swine community was in an uproar.

A meeting of the swine was convened.

Once everyone was quietly wallowing in the mud, the convener, Beelgara, allowed the meeting to commence. Nicolas, a swine elder, got up on his hind legs and snorted angrily, clearing his throat. He pushed forward a torn page with his hoof.

'This is an outrage,' he shouted. 'If you're here, I assume you know what I'm referring to.'

A grumble went through the audience. Nicolas waited for silence, then continued. 'Maybe you've only heard it second hand, maybe you've read it for yourself but don't quite believe it... Let me read you this copy of the filth that's being distributed all over Judea these days.' Then Nicolas read the following:

'Now there was a herd of many swine feeding there on the mountain; and the demons implored Him to permit them to enter the swine. And He gave them permission. And the demons came out of the man and entered the swine; and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.'

All the swine were silent. Shock and anger pulled their piggy faces into all kinds of puddy-like configurations. A nursing piglet not understanding what had been read, but feeling the horror filling the pen, suddenly wailed out with all her piggy heart. Nicolas gazed deeply into each of the faces gathered there. He nodded - more for himself than for his drove of swine. 'Something must be done,' he said.

Tomas, a young and industrious swine, jumped forward and snatched at the document. He read it for himself, skimming the contents. 'Reprehensible,' he muttered. 'What? Do they think we are so easily gotten rid of? This is species-ism!'

'What can we do?' Angelika asked. She was a middle-aged swine who'd lost her entire family in a single barbecue. 'We are helpless. They do as they please, mock us, call us lazy, filthy...and they will eat us and they will deliver us to demons too - it would seem. What can we do?'

Every squint little eye turned again to stern Nicolas. A cool breeze played with the hairs on his chinny chin chin. 'Are we not mortal? Prick us with a fork, do we not

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