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The worst love that i ever found
turned me on those that were always around
the burst of energy the thrilling rush
made life seem like my first big crush
the parties,sex,and all the intrusion
who knew it was all just a big allusion,
stirring in the night and sleeping all day
i knew this life just wasn't the way
but how do i stop i can't just run
i thought it was all just great big fun

yet fun has always been overrated
definitely when your always sedated
nobody loves me or understands what its like
everyone hates me i can't stand and fight
all the tears that fall for me
are tears of anger, cant they see
i have to have this stuff it heals my soul
i don't see why they make a big deal
oh no guess what i lost my job now
i have to rob to get drugs and i cry
the pain is gone at least for awhile
but the pain shows in my little boys smile
i need to stop i have to for him
but the drugs call me back over and over again
they serenade my mood for the hate of this world
but it will only erase my problems up for awhile
they're killing me slowly mile per mile
laying on the cold tile floor in the dark
i think it's over i know I'm going to die
and to think of my life was all just a lie
what will they write on my tombstone
druggie with some family
nobody once even cared about me
then at the end i see a light
what's going on this can't be right
it looks like god is waving at me
and i wake up and find just a dream
i look at the drugs feeling really ill now
this is what all of my friends died for wow
i grabbed them and threw them out the door
from now on no more I'll be back later
because i never showed up and left my son home
i cant imagine doing it again
i should have known that it was a sin
the best times i ever had was with family that cried
my family and real friends who helped me while i died
thats the addiction that has kept me alive
the one that gave me the will to survive
now i see my little boy staring at me dreaming
that one day he can be like me and be big
he don't know that he is the one that helped me
now I'm addicted again, its true
to by baby boy with his big eyes so blue

Learn more about this author, Merry Ellis.
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