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Some people have no trouble making friends. They never go a day without a call from a friend and they never spend a Friday night at home alone. Then there are the rest of us. Making friends is not so easy for everybody, though on the surface, it doesn't appear that it should be so difficult. After all, there are millions of people out there looking for friends.

The first step in making friends is to get out there. You won't make friends eating lunch by yourself or sitting home on the weekends. If you want to make friends, you have to go to where the people are. Find a place where like-minded people congregate. If you like sports, start taking lessons and join a club for competition. If you like to cook, take a class at the local community college.

I know it's been said too many times, but join a church. It's not your Grandmother's church anymore. Churches of today are progressive and working hard to meet the needs of the community. The right church will have social activities after services and during the week. There are opportunities to work with children, homeless shelters, and singles groups. Churches are filled with friendly people who believe in connecting with others.

You can go to the people, but no one is going to notice you unless you speak to them. Make an effort to go up and introduce yourself. Putting ourselves out there is a risk like no other, but it gets easier. Set a goal for yourself. "Tonight I will learn the names of three people." Write down the three names later so you won't forget. It's been said that the sweetest sound is hearing ones own name. The next time you see those people, make it a point to say hello using their names.

The next week, raise the bar in your goal-making. "This week I will learn one fact about three different people." Ask where they are from or if they have children. Where do they work? These sound like mundane questions but people love to talk about themselves. You are giving them an opportunity.

I know a secret about talking to new people that I'll share with you. When someone asks you a question, they are really saying they have something about that subject that they would like to share with you. If a person asks if you like sports, chances are they like sports. Answer their question honestly then turn it around. Ask them if they (or their children) play sports. Once again, you are giving people a chance to talk about themselves.

We have all heard, if we were paying attention, that it's important to be a good listener.

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