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"What! Your kids aren't in bed yet?" The lady on the other end of the line sounded horrified.

I wanted to reach through the phone and smack her. What business was it of hers? She was treating me like the world's worst mother just because she could hear my two toddlers happily playing in the background - and it was nearly ten at night. Instead, I took a deep breath, unclenched my fist and began to explain for what seemed like the thousandth time.

We decided I should start looking for full time at-home employment when I discovered I was expecting our second child. I and my husband had been working opposite shifts so that one of us would always be home with our daughter; we felt strongly about raising our children ourselves. It made sense for me to try to find a job with some flexibility, and I did.

The best job available was a supervisor position working for a well known charity,so I would be running a crew of callers to solicit used clothing donations. It was rewarding work, and easy to do. There was only one potential hitch. In order to be productive, I needed to be available to work Sunday through Thursday evenings from 5:30-10:00.

I actually didn't think too much about it. My son was a very happy newborn, and my daughter a surprisingly angelic two year old. They enjoyed playing together, and the house was fairly quiet. I could always take five minutes to fix a snack, switch the laundry, or kiss a boo-boo. My husband, too, had just changed over to a 3-11 shift, so we fell naturally into a routine that was to last the better part of three years - and spark many a judgmental comment.

Our schedule was actually not that dramatic. The alarm went off around nine, and we ate breakfast in our robes before washing up and getting dressed. My husband and I would play with the kids for a few hours, then the baby would go down for his early nap while he and our daughter watched cartoons. I would use the free time to run errands or catch up on my reading while the baby slept. After the baby woke up, the three of us had Mommy and me time while Daddy took his turn doing guy stuff.

By two, we were sitting down to a hearty lunch before hubby left for work. I would clean up and do a little house-work while my daughter broke out the art supplies and the baby took his late nap. (We did a family home tidying every Saturday to spare me the brunt of cleaning for a family of four!) At five, the baby was awake again and I fed him and fixed our daughter a small, hot dinner. They would

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