by Jane Allyson

Created on: March 05, 2008

For some people, making friends can be a real ordeal. If you have a naturally outgoing personality and a readiness to chat, then you are going to gain a lot of interest from other people. This type of person can literally choose the type of friend that they want to be with... it is easy to envy someone with these qualities isn't it?

Friends come from the most unexpected situations. It is a bit like falling in love. When you force the issue, you become impatient and intense. This can put a lot of people off from having the desire to get to know you a little better. No one likes a clingy person.

Never ask someone directly to be your friend, not only is this a little too direct, and puts the other person "on the spot", it gives you an air of desperation, and that can be a very unattractive quality in a person.

A friendship is built upon a good base of trust and understanding. Its roots drink from the pool of compassion and empathy. As it grows and develops, it branches out to encompass the both of you with the warm feelings of trust and security. You will find that the tentative understanding between you will lead to a fruition of deep bonding.

And how does this come about? I hear you ask. Well the trick is to always be aware of what is going on around you. Cultivate a caring nature. If you see some one that you really like then take the trouble to show that you care about them. Help out in small ways and always show them that you appreciate any small gesture shown in return. In this way you are making a non direct way to build a little history between you.

People notice the little things in life. They notice when people are being kind. They appreciate any non invasive interest and will respond to praise.

It isn't rocket science really. If you like a person and you would like to get to know them, then, basically you have to be kind, show them that you care about them and be genuinely interested in what is important to them.

Friends tend to do that to you anyway they bring out that caring quality within yourself. Compassion and a desire to please others are other nice qualities of friendship. If you are putting out all these signals, and remembering not to be too much "in their face", then the person you are interested in will hopefully respond in a positive way.

If you don't get the response that you were hoping for then don't get despondent. It just means that you haven't "clicked" yet. You will find that most people who have a friendly nature (however shy they may be)

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