I don't remember seeing, in the multitude of "groundbreaking" TV shows of the seventies, the child of impending divorce running aimlessly throughout the house crying, crying and screaming. Screaming "No, no! This isn't happening! It isn't real!" I don't remember any sitcom kids running out the door on a negative zero day, with his coat barely closed, and shoes barely on, yelling that he couldn't stay. And, I don't remember children of any show running through foot high snow all the way to his best buddies house, four blocks away. But, my 11 year-old did. A bomb had been dropped on him, and he needed to get away. Inside, so did I. His cries shattered me.

When my soon to be ex dropped that bomb on us, I stared at him, not really hearing. I must've looked ridiculous because I still had the grin on my face from the previous conversation. Then, something clicked. Maybe it was the look on his face. Maybe it was that he closed our bedroom door. My first response was, "Please don't take Nick away." I wasn't sure how I would support us, as I am receiving Social Security Disability. His response was of shock. Of course he wouldn't. He began packing a bag immediately. And when he opened the door, our beautiful boy stood outside looking in. He became scared because both his dad and I were in tears. We broke the news and suddenly a new world slammed to earth.

In the six weeks that have passed, Nick and I have been even closer than before...and that's saying alot, as we have always been exraordinarily connected. For the first three days we watched movies. Just cried and watched movies. Our swollen eyes eventually gave way to smiles and sillies. And eventually, arguements...as was normal. Normal. What is that now?

Nick has been to stay with his dad for a night, and hears from him often. Things are a amicable as is possible. Soon-to-be-ex's reason for filing was his inability to cope with my chronic illnesses, and lack of love. And, to be honest, some of the love had dwindled for me as well. But, I would have lived with it. As long as Nick was young, I'd have lived with it. Ex and I didn't fight. We were just...friends. Not a bad thing to be, as a rule. But, for Ex it wasn't enough. I get that. I just hope he find the "more" he is looking for with his new girlfriend.

Learn more about this author, Ann Wilkinson.
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