10 of 14

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

from my friends." John Lennon

The help we give to our friends, we would give to acquaintances, too, if they ask, and sometimes even if they don't. Friendship is something larger. It requires obligation to another. The call in the middle of the night must be answered, while not forgetting that the phone rings both ways. If we expect our call to be answered, we have to be willing to take the call when it is our phone ringing in the middle of the night. Sometimes the obligation proves too much and a friendship is lost.

"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." Joseph Roux

A poem by Robert Frost is one of my favorites because it reminds me that no matter how busy we are, we are never too busy to make time for a friend.

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly chat
Robert Frost

My pastor at our church calls me friend. In the sense of friendship as we speak of it here, she and I are not friends. Yes, I could call her in the middle of the night with an emotional crisis, but it probably ought to be a crisis of an extreme and infrequent nature. After all, she is my pastor. I am quite sure that she will never call me in the midst of her crisis. And yet, she calls me friend.

There is reciprocity in friendship. My pastor does not know everything about me, but I doubt that anything I could reveal about myself would diminish the love she feels for me. Because of her unequivocal acceptance of me, I feel the same for her.

"Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same." Elbert Hubbard

The measure of friendship is that our friends will love us, even when our actions are less than lovable. In the pre-Christian era, Epicurus said, "Friendship dances around the world announcing that we must wake up to blessedness." I believe that each one of us does our best to be the person God meant us to be. Quite honestly, it is beyond us. But there is hope. Our friendships are our way of practicing on each other the values of forgiveness, acceptance, and charity. We practice on our friends and they on us, and when we finally get it right we can extend that grace to everyone. Then every person we meet we will call friend.

"When we hurt each other, we should write it down in the sand, so the winds of forgiveness can make it go away for good. When we help each other we should chisel it in stone, lest we never forget the love of a friend." Christian H. Godefroy

Learn more about this author, Sandra Douglas.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Assessing popular sayings about friendship?
We want to hear your view. Write now!