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The Toy Lesson 1

Do you know what I've been thinking?' asked Geoff, out of the blue, in the middle of the TV News.
No. What?' I replied, only half listening to him.
I reckon when we take our long service leave at the end of the year, we ought to buy a four-wheel drive and do a long trip Darwin and around the West,' he said. What do you think?'

Well, it didn't really matter what I thought, and within the month we were the proud owners of a brand new Toyota 4x4 (four-wheel drive) nicknamed The Toy'.
We drove through the suburbs and shopping centers looking down on the lesser mortals around us from our perch on high. The Toy had five forward gears and power steering so driving it was quite easy. Being only five feet tall I needed some practice to learn how to haul myself into it as the step was higher than my knees. I developed a modest slide and drop' routine to get out, being careful about my skirt not getting hitched up at the back.
What's this other knob for,' I asked, trying to move it around.
Oh, don't worry about that lever. I'll teach you about it later, when we get on the rough dirt tracks.' Geoff seemed to know all about four-wheel driving. I don't know where he learned it. Not with me, that's for sure, and we had been married for thirty-something years.
The day of reckoning arrived. With a group of experienced 4x4 friends, we were off to learn about off-road driving. With enthusiasm (Geoff) and trepidation (me), we headed for the nearby forest, where fire access tracks were ideal for trying out tough cars and their super-cool drivers.
We locked in the hubs and our friends gave us detailed instructions about using the other gear lever and speeds. We've got the snatch-straps here and other rescue equipment if things turned sour. Just stay calm and let the car do its work. You'll be right.
With Geoff at the wheel we headed off. It didn't take long for me to recognize that I hated 30 gradients. The little tip-meter on the dashboard showed me we were in the extreme angle range. Going down the steep bumpy tracks I lurched forwards. No matter how hard I tried not to, I kept slipping. On the way up I took a moment to admire the bright blue sky and golden treetops, then closed my eyes. I had no view of the track at all. As we lurched along I had to brace myself against sliding sideways. I was not having fun.
Don't bite the seat belt, idiot,' yelled Geoff, my loving spouse. Open your eyes. We won't tip.' His promise sounded hollow as we

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