6 of 22

Write now Article Tools

Ah, the first date. Its a horrible experience for all, regardless of how well it goes. Everyone else seems to know more about the date than you do, and they all want to chime in. You're nervous, you barely know the person you're meeting (and in some cases, such as my most recent, haven't met them face to face), and you can't help but notice just how unprepared you are.

But fear not! There is hope for all of us, as there is simple advice you can take to make it a pleasant experience that will hopefully end in a second (if not more!) date.

First off, pay attention to your appearance. Now, I'm not saying go out of the way for your date. Don't buy a whole new outfit just for the occasion, but do dress appropriately. That old button down shirt of yours is probably really comfortable, and I bet it still looks very nice, but what condition is it in? Are the colors a little faded? The threads a little worn? And where are you going? Slacks and an Oxford shirt are nice for a formal dinner, but probably a little much for a coffee shop. And for Gods sake, hygiene! Brush your teeth, trim your facial hair (No scruff! Have well defined facial hair, or none at all!), and for the love of God, remember deodorant. Nothing is more nerve racking than those 30 minutes before the date when you realize you don't smell quite as fresh as you did when you left the house.

Pick a location that's comfortable to both parties, as well. If at all possible, let her pick. If you're both indecisive, pick somewhere that you won't feel any pressure or concerns about being with the person. A coffee shop is always a good bet to start out a first date (Got a local Barnes & Noble? They usually have a Starbucks inside, which provides a nice, quiet atmosphere that's still not quiet and personal.) Remember, you're not trapped there, you're just starting there. If things go well at the coffee shop, ask her if she's interested in going for a full fledged dinner, or maybe a movie. Just be sure not to move towards anything too intimate until she's ready.

Sound simple enough so far? Well here's the final piece of advice I have to offer you: don't take anyone else's advice. Sound a bit bizarre coming from me after you've read this article, right? My last first (and only) date was with a gorgeous girl who was way out of my league, in my honest opinion. I was understandably nervous, and everyone I knew was willing to dish out advice, which I took. I showed up dressed like a high dollar metrosexual, as opposed to my usual comfortable jeans and a dress shirt style, and only made myself more nervous by trying to follow the advice of 5 or 6 other people. Had I listened to any more advice, I would have showed up for a simple coffee date with a bouquet of flowers.

The simplest way to look at this is to be yourself. If you ask for advice from your friends, they're going to give you sound advice...assuming you're going out on the date with your friend. If the person you're meeting can't like you for who you are, you don't need them anyway. So take a deep breath, iron your shirt, and leave the flowers at home. As long as you remain calm and be yourself, I can promise you're going to have a great date and a wonderful future with a (hopefully) great person.

Learn more about this author, J. Christopher Baggett.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about A guy's guide to planning a first date?
We want to hear your view. Write now!