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Making friends is a lot easier for some of us than others. When I met one of my best friends, Bridgit, we were in a Master Gardener class together. She was very quiet but something drew me to her, so I would make a point to say hello every class and ask her a question or two about the gardening topic we were studying that day. I didn't hound her (I hope) but I gave her the message that I'd like to get to know her better. Finally one day I invited her to see my garden and she accepted. We've been fast friends for over a decade. She's a very self-effacing, humble person who has many talents and interests and a true friend.

I've also had failures when trying to make friends. Sometimes personalities just don't click, even if you have common interests. People who have a lot of problems need friends, but when you learn they are their own worst enemy and make unwise choices, it's difficult to maintain a friendship.

Here are a few suggestions when trying to make friends.

Something in common: Join a group or club that you have an interest in. Book clubs, garden groups, art groups, volunteer agencies and church groups are a great place to start. Decide what you enjoy and seek out like-minded people. Usually a group will already be sort of cohesive and you may have to be patient and earn' your way in. This isn't such a bad thing, as it's often a good idea and observe the people in the group. You don't want to bring someone into your life who may be annoying or abusive after you learn more about them. I once met a very friendly, funny, upbeat woman and thought we'd make great friends, but as soon as we spent any time alone it was obvious that her main source of interest was gossip and bad-mouthing other members of the group.

A great friend may be in your own neighborhood. When we first moved into our house a woman showed up on my porch and introduced herself, gave me her phone number and invited me over for coffee the next day. We've been close friends ever since. She later told me that when she saw our older model car and learned that I was interested in animals and gardening she knew we'd hit if off. Possessions are among the least important aspect of my life and we had that in common.

If you're a youngster or teen, you can apply these suggestions as well. Don't be afraid of rejection. If you feel you'd like to be friends with someone, just say hello and ask them about something you have in common like sports, hobbies or computer games. My son was a Dungeons & Dragons fan and has several friends as a result of joining a group who also liked the game. Our grandson participates in the Lego Robotics club at school and has great friends he met there.

Making good friends takes a bit of effort and maybe a little risk to your ego when you take the first step, but it's worth it to make good friends. They are one of life's greatest treasures.

Learn more about this author, Pat Merewether.
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