Not all friendships stand the test of time, but when they end the effects can be devastating to our psyche. Depending on how long you were friends, the level of emotional intimacy that was developed, and perhaps most importantly how the friendship ended, will have a direct correlation on how long it takes you to heal from the break up.

Dealing with a broken friendship is rarely straight forward; a whole host of emotions such as anger, shock, hurt and disbelief occur and can cause a whirlwind in our minds. If a friendship had been on the back burner or in deep trouble for some time, the shock is often minimized, if a break up occurs out of the blue it can blind side you. Here are some coping strategies for dealing with the end of a friendship.

Accept your part of the break up

Accepting your fault in the break up of a friendship is essential to personal growth. Spending a great deal of time on an analysis of a friendship is not generally a good idea, but acknowledging that you may have been too needy/controlling/unavailable for your friend is important. If you can honestly come to a realistic conclusion of your part of the break up you may be able to repair the friendship; or at least ensure you don't repeat the same behaviours with new friends.

If you honestly come to the conclusion that the break up of the friendship is the other parties fault don't waste time trying to continue the friendship. If someone has developed a truly skewered perception of you or your actions, you will rarely change their mindset. Emotionally damaged people have trouble forming long term friendships, so if you have been friends with one of these', simply acknowledge them as damaged human beings and move on.

Don't drag it out

If a friendship break up is imminent don't drag it out. Often, friendships end due to a lack of continued interests and goals. If you truly have nothing in common anymore the friendship will probably just fall by the wayside and not cause you much pain. If you do feel it necessary to say something to the other party, something polite and gentle such as It is obvious we don't have anything in common any more, but best of luck in your future endeavours' usually suffices.

Never continue to be friends with an emotional or verbal abuser. Never try to fix them either or you will only find yourself open to more abuse. These friendships involve more confusion, pain and sadness during the friendship than afterwards. Healing from an abusive friendship

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