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Grandparents: Tips for Respecting Your Child's Parenting Choices

Grandparents have the choice to be a positive influence to their child in helping rear her children or cause discord in the family unit by imposing their child rearing ideas when they are not solicited. A true sign of respect toward their child is letting the grandchildren know that Mom and Dad are still in charge even when they are with their Grandmother and Grandfather.

I believe the one who went through all the labor and pain to give birth should have their child rearing decisions honored and respected by both sets of grandparents. To have different sets of child rearing rules can be confusing to the children. They do not understand what is permissible at Grandma's house may be a definite no-no at home with Mom and Dad. After discussing this subject with a few of my friends who are also grandmothers, I found we had similar experiences and were in close agreement. Memories were brought up of having to re-teach the child after visiting the grandparents for a few days in our time. This made for less frequent and less enjoyable visits.

Grandparents had their time raising their children according to their beliefs and rules. As a show of respect, they should honor their child's parenting style. Give advice only when asked for it. They should not try to come between their child and grandchildren. This becomes a no win situation.

Enjoy having the grandchildren whenever you have the chance. Remember not to overindulge them while you have them. They may come to expect this as the norm. This can make life miserable for you and your child as the grandchildren's expectations of what they want to make them happy grows. Plus, always, always get Mom and Dad's stamp of approval beforehand when giving gifts of clothes or toys. Be sure to give equally as possible to each grandchild, as they are good at keeping count as to who gets what.

Try to be a reinforcement of what your child chooses to teach her children, like respect for all adults and themselves. Talk with your child regularly to stay on the same page as to discipline issues, what clothes are acceptable and anything else you may need to know when the grandchildren are in your care. When the children see a united front from both parents and grandparents, they get to see how loved ones work together for the good of the family. Plus the more people in the grandchildren's lives who love them, the more enriched their lives will become.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Teasley.
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