by Trisha Orlando

Created on: March 03, 2008

"Happiness is Being Married to Your Best Friend"

When I saw this lovely framed saying at a yard sale, my first thought was "Oh that is so appropriate, I'll get this for my husband's desk." I was thrilled that it was only a half a dollar. The frame was worth that alone!

As I hung it up on the wall, I wondered about the former owner.

What kind of heartache did she go through that made her want this out of her home?

I also thought about the meaning of the words and how lucky I am that I can say I am married to my best friend.

My husband is not only my best friend, he is the best friend I have ever had. He has stood by me through thick and thin, even when I was so overcome with my own problems that I didn't want him near me. He has been more of a father to my 3 children than their "real" father has been. I refer to him as the "sperm donor" because that is about all he has ever contributed to the children.

The importance of being friends with your spouse is never empathized enough. When I saw this topic heading, I thought it would be a good way to give this important issue the attention it deserves.

A wise Indian woman, whom I had never met before in my life, said something to me that has struck with me for many years.

She said, "Don't marry the one you can live with, marry the one you can not live without."

Truer words were never spoken. I often wonder what it was she could tell about me that made her say that. I was waiting on her at the bar in my restaurant. It was a classy place and she was well dressed. She was about 50 years old. A very dignified woman who was proud of her Native heritage.

How did she know I was troubled and struggling to decide between two men? I don't know. I don't want to know, it gives me a good story to pass on to my grandchildren and anyone else who will listen.

The two men I was deciding between was my best friend and my ex-husband. Although he promised to change and pay more attention to the relationship, he was failing miserably. Should I spend the rest of my life in a relationship that needed to be worked on constantly or the one that free flowing and comfortable? The only thing my ex-husband had that my best friend did not have was DNA that matched my children's DNA.

Did I owe it to my kids to "work" on their Dad? I thought so but the answer is no. My children said I was much happier with my best friend who treated me like his equal, did everything he could for me and respected my opinion, even if he did not always agree with them.

It was a rough 5 years of indecision but I finally made the decision. I needed to be happy before I could make anyone else happy. So I married my best friend and lived happily, and contently, ever after.

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