5 of 37

Write now Article Tools

I had a pretty good childhood compared to what it seems a lot of kids are going through these days. There was one weird thing about my upbringing, however, that I'll always remember. I feel it bears mentioning because it's something that parents can easily forget, even though it's so obvious. I'm talking about the simple truth that children aren't born with an a priori knowledge about the way things are in this world.

My Dad was a good one as fathers go. He was a good provider, a mensch in every sense of the word. But I swear he had the idea that kids were born with a full set of instructions enclosed. I don't know how he acquired this orientation. Maybe he forgot what it was like to be a kid. He grew up to become a super-busy entrepreneur with the responsibility of two growing businesses on his shoulders. There wasn't much left of him when he came home when after the pressures of a twelve hour day at the office.

I imagine most parents are great teachers. They know how much fun it is to teach kids something new. Children love to be taught about mostly anything, especially by a caring parent in a loving manner. I suppose, therefore, this article is intended for my Dad, and the few, high achieving, constantly busy parents who have missed out on the joy of teaching a child.

I started saying things to my daughter when she was two years old that I knew she wasn't going to fully comprehend until later in life. Something told me to start pouring the positive instructions in as soon as she began to speak in full sentences. One of the most important things I feel she heard from me early on was this: "I can do anything good I put my mind to." I don't think anything in the world can replace positive, enabling statements like this one beginning at a very early stage in a child's development. I believe simple statements like, "You're so good," "You are beautiful," "You can do that," and "Good job," can make a huge difference in a child's motivation, achievement, and sense of well being as an adult.

Today, my daughter is a straight "A" student, a police volunteer, happy, enthusiastic, and very different than most people her age in terms of her wholesome values and behavior. I think the positive input and reinforcement she received from both of her parents while growing up had a lot to do with the person she has become. I've discovered nothing is more satisfying and more fun than bringing up a child who appreciates you as a parent. I don't think anything can make you feel more important and worthwhile than being a good parent.

I'm still teaching my eighteen-year-old daughter. She recently asked me to accompany her to one of her college basketball games. I agreed reluctantly, as I'm not a huge basketball fan. I developed some interest in the game when I jumped on the bandwagon of the Miami Heat basketball team in the three years leading up to their NBA Championship. To my surprise, the college basketball games quickly became a regular activity. My daughter's enthusiasm for the team is contagious. Now we have something to share. It's easy to lose touch with someone, even if they live only forty five minutes away. My daughter Danielle has taken another step in establishing herself as an individual with her own life on the FAU Boca Raton Campus. The shared activity keeps us close. My contribution is an explanation of the finer points of the game of basketball. Going to games with Danielle has evolved into the most exciting and fun activity on my schedule. It makes me feel young again. We're discussing baseball as our next sport when the basketball season is over.

Learn more about this author, David Gittlin.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Tips for building self-esteem in children?
We want to hear your view. Write now!