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Why is this happening to me
is what i was thinking,
screamed out No, Stop!
but my purpose was defeated.
it's all my fault
for a long time
that is what i thought.
tried to forget about my wrecked child hood
but i could
never forget it.
Always put up a front like I had no feelings,
but inside,

I felt like i was dead.
dead to the world
had to b 2 different people for the sake of my young life.
lied and said that the bruises were from me playing football
basketball
and all other kinds of sports that i was into.
they believed me
asked why i was limping,
i rebuttled sadly that i fell running down the stairs.
lied so much to save his butt,
yet i don't know why
you should've left me alone,
you took what you wanted over and over,
and left me there to cry.
A young girl,
ignorant to this kind of thing,
i knew it was wrong,
yet it felt normal to me.
Happened every since i could remember
up until September when i was about 10
i saw you as a father figure
because i didn't have one then
i guess you did what you thought was right
wrong that didn't help me through the night
as i
would wake up in cold sweats
screaming at the top of my lungs,
gasping for a faint breath,
i wish i never caught it.
But God must have some sort of plan for my life.
I'm 17 now and the memories are still there,
just last year i let it out.
In the back of my mind
i regret each day that i live.
The way that i feel. Is it on me?
I don't know,
I guess i just have to live.

Learn more about this author, Erika Mitchell.
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