It's the bottom of the ninth, with two outs and the home team is at the plate. The score is tied and the runner on first, Andy Amphetamine has taken a wide lead off of the bag.

The pitcher, Henry (HGH) Humphries, glances over his left shoulder, decides his heat is enough to negate the runner's big lead and he fires a rocket toward the plate.

The batter, Sammy Steroid, anticipating the star pitcher would be offering his famous, flaming, fastball, begins swinging as the ball is leaving the hurler's hand. An explosive transfer of weight occurs as he pushes off of his back leg and begins his swing. Both dugouts feel the air from the pumped-up behemoth's tremendous swing as he connects with the ball, launching it down the left field line over the leaping third baseman, Andy Alcoholic.

Left fielder Craig Cocaine, realizing he won't quite make it to the ball, lets it whiz by, preferring to play the ricochet off of the wall. He gallops at breakneck speed toward the wall, fields the carom on the fly, pivots, and rifles a one-hopper toward the plate. It's going to be a close play.

Wesley Workout, the gym rat catcher, senses the potential game-winning runner streaking toward him; just feet away from the plate, as he snaps up the one-hopper. The muscle-bound catcher braces himself for the inevitable collision; his body easily absorbing the brutal shock, as he holds onto the ball. Out number three, the game moves on to extra innings

My apologies to baseball "purists," but; as a fan of the game of baseball, I can't imagine a more exciting play than the one illustrated above. I don't care what these guys have done to get themselves into the shape they are in. I am only interested in seeing riveting action.

From the time that the first ball was thrown, players of the game of baseball (and all other walks of life be it other sports, academia or the business world) have been doing whatever they could to be the best. If a "magic pill" that could make a person jump higher, run faster and react quicker existed fifty years ago, I guarantee you that players would have been lining up to take it. We have no idea what players were doing in the "golden era of the game" because the media; both professional and amateur, was not the same as it is today.

"But steroids are illegal," the purists say, conveniently forgetting that their hero, Babe Ruth, was downing more alcohol during prohibition than a body should be able to endure.

"It's cheating the players who

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