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I equip my little girl with the skills she needs to deal with this fluctuation? She has now begun working on an entirely new puzzle. This one is a little more difficult than the first, and I hadn't noticed it before, but she is starting with the corners. It's a good strategy, I think to myself. So why don't I tell her that? "You're starting with the corners," I say. "That's a good idea you had!" It's a small step in the right direction. She takes a side piece and tries to fit it squarely into the middle of the puzzle. She looks up at me. "Help me?" she says. "Look at the shape," I say, "it has a straight side right?" "Oh!" she says and moves the piece over to the edge. It's the wrong edge, but her line is in the water and I'm steadying her pole. Teach a man to fish.

By praising the means and not the end, I am instilling in her the belief that she can accomplish anything if she has the right strategy. We want our children to bounce back and try again. We want to build the resiliency in them to pick themselves up and dust themselves off as they deal with life's ups and downs. My wife enters the kitchen and sees us finishing the puzzle. "Good morning sweetie," she yawns. "You got Baba to put down his paper and play with you by sitting closer to him. That's a good idea you had!"

Learn more about this author, Allen Valentine.
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