1 of 22

Write now Article Tools

Someone once wrote, True friends are rarer than fine jewels' and in our fast paced frenzied, instant intimacy society, this certainly seems to be true. To have a friend, we must be a friend, and that means adhering to common sense and the usually unwritten, unstated codes of friendship.

The minimum cost of friendship is our time; time well spent on developing a rapport with a kindred spirit will come back to us ten fold. Minimally keeping in touch with a friend on a regular basis will keep a friendship alive, even better taking time to telephone, email or even an e-card even when we are busy keeps a friendship on its feet. I am a firm believer that if you make an appointment to have an e-chat, telephone conversation or an in person meeting for coffee, that you should always show up. Little excuses can cause big hurts.

When you develop a friendship, you develop a similar mindset with someone who shares many of your beliefs, attitudes and expectations. In the beginning, like all relationships we are typically on our best behaviour, and one of the true tests of friendship begins when we let down our guard, and let others really see' us.

Taking time to get to know each other can be a smooth or bumpy road; you may discover along the journey that the two of you are not as alike as originally anticipated. This doesn't mean the friendship should be discarded, I truly believe that there are different levels of friendship that ebb and flow as life's circumstances and mutual interests dictate.

Friendships like any other relationship have unwritten minimum expectations, but funnily enough although we spend more time with our friends than our bosses and often spouses, we rarely let others know our minimum needs. The old adage is true, treat people the way you wish them to treat you'. For me, that means letting friends know when I will be away or unavailable, giving them my undivided attention when we do communicate, and keeping anything they tell me confidential.

If you experience a period of time in your life when you are emotionally or physically unavailable to your friends; send them a funny e-card or an email letting them know you are thinking about them. Never let people wonder what's going on or you will simply start the gossip mill. If it has been awhile since you spoke to a group of friends organize a coffee morning/afternoon something simple that involves no stress for the other parties.

The cause of most friendship break ups is the violation of expectations. When someone is never available to you, or repeatedly breaks promises or commitments with you, a friendship ends up on life support. While most friendship expectations are never verbally discussed, mutual respect, admiration and time giving are the essential ingredients. True, honest communication over time is the minimum cost of friendship.

Learn more about this author, Melissa D. Ing.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about The minimum cost of friendship?
We want to hear your view. Write now!